Grandmother’s Love❤️

I speak a lot about my paternal grandmother (Nkhono); Makaibe Armelina Kaibe, whom I refer to simply as Mankai! My late Father was her only adult child, so my three sisters and I experienced the honor of being her only grandchildren.

A beautiful fierce woman who molded me into the woman I am. I draw a lot of inspiration from her. Mankai “Ntoto’atsana” as we fondly called each other was very, very dear to me, and was the only Grandmother I ever knew and the one that raised me from six months to the year I turned twelve. 

To say we had a special relationship with Mankai would be an understatement. There was an unspoken bond between us.

Nkhono loved me, she knew me, she understood me, stuck up for me and supported every decision I made.

She trusted me so much with everything. I was this bright little woman in her eyes. I balanced our home accounts. I knew who owed her and how much. She ran a mill business where people would come and grind their grain (be it maize, sorghum and the likes) for their staple.

Her bible had a picture of whoever was a current boyfriend then, and anytime I told her the relationship was over, she would discard the picture and ask for the next one. I have not once doubted her love. She did not hold back on telling us (My sisters and I) how much she loved us and how proud she is.

Give Nkhono a mere R20 and the entire world will know that “Ntoto” was here and gave her lots of money. She was a teacher, an avid reader, a farmer, a community builder, co-founder of the Credit Union; she wore many hats and wore them gracefully.

She was also a giver. One time she wrote me a letter advising me to come see her urgently.

When I arrived, she handed me an envelope of money and instructed me not to share with anybody – not even my sisters, as this was a gift to me, her favorite grandchild and continued to praise me. I felt so special and believed every word. My confidence was up the roof! I was on top of the world and left with a warm and grateful heart.

I’ve always been extremely close to my grandmother, and the care of her love made the biggest impact on my life.

My very first birthday “party” was when I turned 10. She bought me Black forest Cake from OK Bazaars, 2 litres of Fanta Orange and Smoked Beef Simba Chips. Invited two friends from our street and that was it. She handed me a birthday card and asked me to write it out myself. So, I wrote out a card to myself. It was very special, and I remember that day so vividly.

Not long after, my sisters and I were just chatting and reminiscing about life and our upbringing. I guess we all felt what I felt when I left Nkhono’s house with an envelope, only to find out that she said the very exact words with all of us individually. We had all received the letters and were handed envelopes with the same amount of money.

Seven years before her passing she called us again and asked each of us to pick whatever we wanted so we don’t fight over her stuff when she is dead.

The 1st of August was her birthday, a day on which I found myself reflecting more than usual on the profound influence she had on my life.

When I was a little girl, she nourished me with her unconditional love and adoration. As I grew to be an adult, she was a voice of strength, wisdom, and love. Always love.

I hope I embody her strengths and her love and that I’m making her proud. I’ve tried to live my life being strong like her and being a figure that my family and children can depend on.

Without even thinking about it I’ve realized she’s influenced me in more ways than one and for that I will be forever grateful. I see her tenacity in Masedi, my daughter who has taken her second name Armelina. We call her "Aro".

We would exchange letters which became our way of communication when we were apart, even after the introduction of cell phones,Nkhono and I still wrote letters which lasted for over a decade through my tertiary school days and continued to my early years of work till 2008 when she passed. I still have the letters in my memory box. 

I’m so happy for all the memories that I have of her, I can write a series of books on the life lessons she imparted on me.

I am just sad that she never got to see my kids as she passed way before I was a mom. Every day I wish she was alive to help raise my kids. Ngidumi was born 27 months after her passing. I do believe she is somewhere watching over us and still being a part of our daily lives and of course interceding for us.

I was 24 years old when Nkhono passed at the age of ninety. She would have been 105 years this year and I pledge to run 105kms this month in her honour. I appreciate the items that she left me with including worn out sleepers that makes me feel like heaven.

We had several rituals that we shared with Nkhono and one that I still carry is saying evening prayers together. The kids take turns reading the daily devotional and we say the traditional Catholic prayers (The Lord’s Prayer, Hail Mary and Glory be...).

This brings so much joy, it feels incredibly loving, and I am happy they learn Nkhono’s love through prayer and connecting with God.

Thank you Nkhono for your faith and believe in God and prayer. Thank you Lepele for teaching me the true meaning of “good and faithful servant” through your love, dependability and works. 

Thank you for modeling grace and elegance through your life.

I love you!

Ngoana Ngoan’a Hau

Ntoto’atsana

Likha~Biso📿