How Impeccable are we with our words?

The book of John opens up with what sounds like a great poem…”in the beginning was the word, the word was with God and the word was God” it further says “All things came to be through him…” (John 1 v 1,3).

Love the truth

This alone is powerful to say the least. In it, we see how our words shape the world and very imperative to us Mothers as nurtures and molders of our little ones. What do we say to our kids, ourselves and the world? What are we bringing into creation?

This piece took me back to one of the great books I’ve read many moons ago inspired by Oprah’s book club “ The four Agreements “ by Don Miguel Ruiz which later became my best gifting book. My last copy was shared with a friend’s daughter that was hospitalized due to depression and I wanted to reach out the best way I know how…sharing what has helped me when I was in a similar stand.

Earlier I was reflecting on life in general, the beauty of life and also how difficult it can be; and most of my thoughts bolted down to the believes and biases we have about ourselves and life resulting on how we speak to ourselves and our children.

How Impeccable are we with our words?

Raising kids comes with lots of stresses and you can imagine doing it single-handedly right? You’ve been modeling good talk, set the rules and in your motherly head you thinking, ahh I’ve nailed it and boom, something happens that is 180 degrees away from what you agreed with… the screams start, the ultimatums that you’ve promised yourself to stay very far away from slide in. Then what? You are left with guilt and start the process of promising yourself new rules again…

Beginning of the year, Ngidumile (boy Gucci) and I sat down to plan our year and concluded with a contract specifically around his academics. He is a bright boy but “forgets” to study which in most cases will see me up against the roof screaming…and to manage that we agreed on how this dilemma will be handled and the expected results that would also enrich him in monetary terms. (Still not sure about this decision though).

Since the contract’s existence, with encouragement and still monitoring his studying and packing of books, my son is a different child. Like an A student of note.

You can even see it in his walk and beaming face when he utters “ I made it mommy, where is my money?” I’m just worried I’m getting broke fast because this young man is scooping Rands and cents weekly.

Realizing this I text a friend and share that it’s not even mid term and I’m going broke, better i nullify the contract, afterall this passing is for his good. We’ve atleast gotten him where we needed him to be. She quickly reminds me that I cannot just change the contract terms as and when it favours me…that a contract must be honored. You see in this case I was flexing my parental muscle and totally ignoring the other party.

“When you are impeccable, you take responsibility for your actions, you adhere to your word without judgement or blame on self.” I started thinking that I’m setting a wrong precedence of wanting to be paid on what is one’s responsibility (in our case paying my son for what he should be doing…studying and producing good results). I wanted to chicken out and I could because I’m the mother here right and it’s my money. He is my child. What I say goes right? A big NO!

Miguel in his writing further points out that …”Being impeccable with your word is not using the word against yourself.” (Or others).

Hearing this helped a lot, as I would start questioning what kind of mom am I and easily make a quick turn to our growing up, thinking that our parents never really paid us to do our work…”studying” atleast in my case.

I just knew as a child that I must put in the work, study, be attentive in class and pass (with flying colours for that matter)…on the other hand Ellen my then friend would be beaten up proper by her father for being on the top 5’s because good results meant opening up to the neighbors bewitching her and the family. (Our thought systems sometimes paralyse us). She was instructed to just make it through but not go beyond 50%.

When we’re impeccable with our word, our children learn that we can be trusted and they also learn to trust themselves. Our partners start to connect with us. Our relationships can be transformed.

During our lives, parents, siblings and society at large have given their opinions of us without even thinking. Many a times, we accept these beliefs (consciously or unconsciously) and get ruled by those opinions. We end up living in fear of those opinions. How often have we fell for ”not being smart enough” or “not being good at certain things” that we haven’t even tried, but carried with that because someone said it. “Whenever we hear an opinion and believe it, we make an agreement, and it becomes part of our belief system”. If someone gives an opinion that we are ugly or bad mothers and we listen, we take this belief on and grow up with the idea we are ugly. It doesn’t matter how pretty you may be, if you still have that belief, you will believe you are the ugly duckling even with beautiful makeup and lipstick. Words can enter our minds and change a whole belief system for better or worse. We need to choose them wisely, so we bring forth what is good and pleasing to us. Remember “All things came to be through him…” God, the word, what we say (in silence and loudly). Impeccable means “without sin”. A sin is everything that you do which goes against yourself. Everything you believe, feel or say that goes against yourself is a sin. When you judge or blame yourself for anything you go against yourself. When we are impeccable with our word:

We take responsibility for our actions. We do not judge or blame ourselves.

We do not compare yourself to others.

We honor ourselves.

We express ourselves openly and honestly.

We do not use words against yourself.

We do not get ruled by social media.

We evaluate our truth and share it kindly. The truth will manifest through you and release all the toxins you‘ve held emotionally through childhood to motherhood and it requires work. Being impeccable with one’s word leads to freedom and happiness.

We need to tell ourselves and our kids how great they are and the love we have for them. Let them know they are loved and treasured. Engrain a positive empowering belief system within them and self. “I am impeccable with my word” - remind yourself everyday and act accordingly. Let’s put in the work and break old agreements that do not serve us anymore, after all its 2022! For me it’s screaming!

Let’s turn away from negative patterns and bring forth new building patterns, positive belief systems and be impeccable with our word.

How have you been impeccable with your word?

Join us again next week when we look at the 2nd agreement~ “Don’t take anything Personally“

Here is to another Wondrous Wednesday!

Impeccably

Likha~(Biso)❤️