Like Bartimaeus I wanted to see

I hope we all remember the blind beggar in the Gospel of Mark that met Jesus on the side of the road and shouted "Son of David have mercy on me" and Jesus asked what he wanted…he said he wanted to see.

I have been a Bartimaeus on many occasions (still am), in this instance it was a self inflicted physical blindness.

My formation years were spent with my paternal grandmother whom I admired to the core. She wore spectacles and I associated spectacles with intelligence and being a boffin. So I would secrectly try on her spectacles with every chance I got, and that over time damaged my eyesight (which I was happy about because it meant I would be counted amongst boffins).

I remember my first visit to the optometrist and being recommended glasses at nine. Now you can start imagining the light skinned 9 year old boffin with long hair :-) wearing the certification to "boffin world" - Prayers answered!

Over the years my eyesight really deteriorated, I WAS prescribed shortsighted measuring (LE -2.50 and RE -2.25) stuck with looking intelligent, deprived of wearing beautiful sunglasses and showing off my beautiful eyes. For the love of sunglasses and looking cool, I then adopted the double barrel method (wearing sunglasses over the spectacles).

My eyesight got so worse that I could not read signages, let alone see plate numbers of the car infront of me. My world was covered with a veil of fog and I really got bored with extra eyes. I tried contacts which left my eyes constantly dry and sandy.

A wise friend of mine advised that I stop wearing them and train my eyes “to see”, lo and behold I followed the instructions and got into messy situations. Simple - I just couldn't see. It was awkward. Mission failed.

At one point I was in Brooklyn (lana in SA not the New York one) shopping when I passed another friend without recognising her. She phoned me on the spot and called me to order, that’s when I made a decision that I wanted to see and scheduled an appointment with an ophthalmologist for a laser procedure.

Two weeks post the eye work I got into a silly accident. I could now see the signage on the roads and plate numbers with my bare eyes, got fascinated and consumed in the new reality that I bumped into the car in front of me. Ofcourse it was my fault and I confessed that the accident was due to the excitement of being able to see.

It’s been 6 years of eye correction, having ditched the specs and able to see clearly. I wouldn’t trade it for a thing. I am enjoying my vision and the freedom of wearing mascara and picking and choosing my sunglasses.

Coming to my friend, the one that advised I train my eyes; I know the works behind the power of the mind, but I am still wrestling with the training of my eyes to see without the assigned help besides the terrible headaches that I endured during that period.

Reflections

• What is the that one thing you did and thought it was cool only to learn that it’s the biggest booboo of your lifetime?

• I love this story of Barnabas that I often wonder what I would opt for, should Jesus walk to me and ask the same question. My shopping list is too long and I’d be intimated as to which item comes first. Its a struggle in my prayers all the time.

• If you were to be asked…What is it that you want…what is that one thing? That one thing.

I believe Bartimaeus story somewhat depicts an element of self awareness and knowing when to ask for help (in my case deciding on laser when missing friends and familiar faces in the streets sans extra eyes was becoming the sad reality followed by many other mishaps of life) to a gracious reception of healing (regaining my eyesight).

If we look closer, this path to liberation is available to each one of us. All we need is to ask that we see.

Until next time, Have a Wondrous Wednesday

Seeing the Light

Likha~(biso)