My Greatest Fear

In life, we all have fears that loom over us, more often than not, rooted in past experiences that have left deep scars. Looking back there are many scars I can share that will make any heart beat stop, be it in learning, relationships , finances and life itself, however, the fear of falling became a constant presence after a motorcycle accident that shook me to my core in 2019.

My Doctor had advised me that whatever I do, I must protect my knees and make sure I don't fall. Death which was my then greatest fear diminished and the fear of falling transformed into a shadow that followed me, whispering doubts and casting doubts on my steps. I tried beating it by doing 94.7 cycle challenge just 9 weeks after my RCL but it decided to stay.

I took my routine run this past Saturday, a seemingly warm and ordinary afternoon, that fate decided to test me once again.

As I treaded the familiar path, lost in my thoughts, it happened - I stumbled and fell. In that split second, as the ground rushed up to meet me, time seemed to slow down, and in that moment, I felt and experienced the weight of my fear crashing down on me...Boom!

But amidst the chaos of my mind, as my phone slipped out of my hand and scattered on the ground, a strange calmness enveloped me. As I laid there, vulnerable and exposed, a strange realization dawned on me. I had not just fallen on the dusty side of the road; I was confronting my fear head-on. I wasn't too sure whether to stay on the ground and cry or pick myself up.

Whilst contemplating picking myself up, I wondered whether I would be able to stand up and walk, whether I would be needing help or had I just met with the end, my end.

It is in that moment, that I understood how our fears hold power over us, only because we give them permission to. They become our captors, dictating our actions and chaining us to our past traumas. (Talking about traumas, I realise how many I have and how I need to make time and confront them one by one.)

As I picked myself up, dusted off the remnants of my stumble, a newfound strength surged within me. I realized that surviving the fall wasn't just about physical resilience; it was a testament to my inner fortitude. Like Jesus on the third station of the cross, I too had fallen, but I rose again, stronger and more determined than before.

Man did I not run , only 14kms later here I am, feeling the heaviness and pain in my body. I don't know how it happened, but I hit the ground on my hip, rolling to my poor ever protective bum (in this case) and scratching my shoulder. The critical knees were saved. Hallelujah! I twisted my right wrist and it gave a throbbing pain. It still hurts as I type.

Confronting our fears isn't a one-time battle; it's a continuous journey of self-discovery and resilience. We may stumble and fall along the way, but it should be in those moments of vulnerability that we find our true strength. Our fears should no longer hold us hostage; instead, we should make them stepping stones towards our growth and empowerment.

So, as I continue on my journey, I carry with me the lessons learned from the fateful Saturday afternoon.

Falling isn't a sign of weakness; it's a reminder of our humanity. And in rising from the fall, we embrace our fears, transform them into sources of power, and emerge victorious, ready to face whatever challenges lie ahead.

Stay strong, keep falling, keep rising, and never let your fears define you.

It's a Wondrous Wednesday

Likha~Biso ❤️