Rediscovering Life - Embracing my Journey

How have you all been? It’s been a minute since my last blog.

I wanted to share with you some interesting things happening around me, but hey there was also some wrestling I was dealing with and trying to keep afloat.

We thank God I am back…

Interesting how life has its own way of give you a wakeup call! Man you will be cruising in your own lane trying to figure things out and boom there goes an unexpected curveball. I mean, life is hard on its own, let alone as a solo parent and still having to deal with loadshedding in the cold days. If you are like me dear friend, it's not uncommon to feel overwhelmed and lost in the chaos, right?

How do you navigate life, find balance, and seize every precious moment when it feels like you are on a rollercoaster.

I often say “breathe” but lately I’ve been forgetting how to breathe. (So, let's take a deep breath, roll up our sleeves, and embrace the beautiful chaos that comes with mhhh…parenting solo, chasing a career, trying to keep fit, exploring Mjololand and just being ME).

I have been wrestling with being present in my own life. I dealt with a lot of good and bad distractions. I started a new job in a new field - and buried myself in work, I had planned trips that I wanted to see through and hopped from one city to another, I had someone’s son occupying 84% of my mind – the highs and lows of dating with children, I honored three wedding invites in two months, I was attending to my elderly mom, I received my first cousin back home after spending almost 40 years of her beautiful life in the States, I cried over the loss of a friend – (no she didn’t die, our friendship died and that hurts), I adjusted my parenting style because my babies have entered the pre-teen stage and my old methods seem not to work anymore, Navigating grade 4 and grade 7 school work and projects, chauffeuring from one extra mural to the other, I had car issues every other day and many other aspects of life that make up who we are and how we show up every day.

It was a lot and I wanted to run! But how do you run away from yourself? I learned to remove myself from the busyness of life. Most days I’d just switch off my phone and lock myself in the room trying to find a quiet moment to sort through my thoughts, emotions, and priorities.

My children could sense the disconnect and spoke about their concerns; it hurt me, but I could not reconcile then. I hid behind the airplane oxygen quote of “securing my own oxygen mask before helping anyone else – including children”.

It was tough and didn’t come cheap, but it was necessary and allowed me to pause, reflect on my journey, rediscover my strengths and dream again.

What has changed? Has the whirlwind settled? Have the self-help books helped?

A lot has changed since then, it’s a journey that I am happy to take. I am making efforts not to judge myself too harshly and not to dwell in the past. I am taking each day, one step at a time. Some days are high and some…not so high but we keep on keeping on. 

Here are five things that carried me through the days:

Allowing myself to be and to feel every emotion that I went through without owning it but acknowledging it - The excitement, the sadness, the anger, the bitterness, the good feeling, the ugly feeling, the bad feeling. I would tell my sisters that I am sad, I would cry. At some point I refused to respond to “How are you?” because we always say we are fine by default, and I was not fine and was not going to say it.

I took it to the street - I ran, I walked, I hiked. I learned how to “breathe”. I saw beauty in small and big things, in my surroundings, the flowers and the tree stumps. It allowed me to reflect on the positives of my life.

Reprioritized time with my kids - There will always be work, household chores, sport matches to watch, errands to run, reasons to shout and other responsibilities. Amid it all, I learned how to be present to myself and to my children. Our quality time is sometimes 10 minutes snuggling in bed together. We try new dishes, read the same book together, watch a movie (enjoying Young Sheldon on Netflix) and talking endlessly. We are currently busy with our family vision board and it's fun.

Monitoring my technology consumption- I love my phone and the technology benefits, but it helped to switch it off most times and detox from it. The first few days felt foreign but here I am, I didn’t loose anything. I didn’t miss anything. I am still standing.

Prayer - Man, I said my prayers. I recited my rosary. Like Mary, I stood at the foot of the cross. This helped me in putting things into perspective and just strengthening my faith. It allowed me to be naked, surrender, trust and allow things to take shape in their own time knowing that there is higher power in control. I believe the battle is never ours to fight.

Hibernate, if you must. Rediscover, if you will. Embrace the journey. It is different for every one of us, but we can share, laugh, cry and find ways to navigate through the whirlwind.

It has been a Wondrous Wednesday

Love

Likha~Biso❤️